Cookie Dough
by Siobahn Holloway
Summary: This is my first attempt at crack!fic. Esme wants a snack.


**Cookie Dough**

Esme stood at the tile topped island in the center of the kitchen, covered head to toe in white flour. She growled in frustration at running out of Pillsbury cookie dough to make chocolate chip cookies for Bella. She stiffened upon sensing that Carlisle was near. She still hadn't recovered from their fight over Edward's involvement with Bella. She pretended to look busy as he entered the kitchen while trying to hide the fact that she was pouting. He smiled warmly as he circled the island and wrapped his cold, strong arms around her middle, pulling her back to his rock hard chest.

"Hello, my love," he whispered, and Esme shivered as his cool breath tickled her ear. "What is the matter?"

"Oh, nothing," she muttered, wriggling free of his hug.

"Still upset about earlier?" No answer. "Love, I am –"

"Don,'t," she began, placing a hand firmly on his chest. A flustered feeling washed over her. She presumed Carlisle had coerced Jasper to be nearby to influence her moods. She turned my head toward the door of the kitchen. "Jasper! Stop toying with my feelings!" A squelched giggle resounded from the hallway, followed by the _thump_ of sneakers on hardwood.

"I thought you might be a little hungry." He winked and his fingers deftly reached down and began to disassemble his belt.

"Oh, no Carlisle, I don't think I can. The last time, I was puking for weeks."

"I didn't mean that."

Esme's eyes widened as his erect penis popped out of his boxer briefs, dotted with dark brown spots and glistened in the sunlight. She ran her nose along his length and inhaled, venom pooling in her mouth from the scent of butter, sugar, flour and semi-sweet chocolate chips.

"Your favorite flavor, my love."

"Mmm, Carlisle."

She fell to her knees on the white tile and wrapped her hands around his cookie dough cock, and almost jumped back in surprise. The obelisk that jutted out from his pelvis was cold, hard and smooth as marble. She marveled at its length and girth, as if this were their first time. Venom pooled between her legs, soaking her modest white cotton granny panties. Esme proceeded to suck on the frozen pop slowly, swirling her tongue all around.

She glanced upward and watched Carlisle bite his bottom lip and throw his head back in ecstasy. It excited her that she could bring him such pleasure. The tip felt quite most so she began to nibble on it gently. The chocolate chip dick was delicious! She hungrily sucked more, causing the structure to weaken. Her teeth grazed him again and again until a pile of soft cookie dough formed on her tongue.

Esme nibbled more and more until a different form of hunger overcame her. She opened her mouth wide and chomped right down on the shaft of Carlisle's cookie cock. A howl of pain erupted from his mouth, but she took no notice. She swallowed her first bite and hungrily went in for the second, before his hand yanked her head away by the neatly formed bun on the back of her head.

"Esme! What the hell are you doing?"

She looked up at him innocently. "I've decided that I am hungry."

Her mouth formed a devilish grin and she resumed her feast, taking bite after bite of the doughy goodness. She ignored the pains beginning in her abdomen; this cookie dough was just too marvelous!

Nessie gripped Jacob's hand as they both watched the two from the doorway, eyes wide in horror. Esme was devouring Carlisle's cock with blinding speed.

"I'm disgusted, yet I can't look away," she muttered softly. Jacob's head whipped around to gawk at her. "I never knew Carlisle's penis was chocolate chip flavored."

"I knew," Jacob said very lowly, hoping Nessie wouldn't catch it. His cheeks burned hotly with embarrassment.

"What?"

Jacob coughed. "Nothing." He ran a russet colored hand through his black hair. "Let's leave them alone. I don't think my stomach can take much more of this."

He pried Nessie loose from the spot where she was standing, and carried her to the couch. He sighed with contentment, knowing that this was the woman he was going to be with forever.

"Jacob?"

"Hmm?"

"What's your favorite cookie dough flavor?"

He tilted his head back and gazed at Nessie, a wry smile fixed on her face.

"Why?" He was curious.

"Just wondering."


End file.
